Shared 3-bedroom apartment with 3 roommates is slowly being taken over by dozens of plants, complains one of the roommates: 'She started with about 5 or 6 plants in the living room, but now there are over 20. [She also] has about 20 plants in her bedroom'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Jul 29, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Shared space has a connotation of sharing. But some people never learned this skill. You know how this goes… Whether it be by sheer reluctance to pick up after themselves or an uncanny ability to accumulate things to the point where there's almost no choice but to keep them in the common space. When you live with one of these people.

And I'd know. In my relationship, I happen to be this person. My partner, bless her, is forced to live with my accumulations spilling out into her carefully crafted aesthetic spaces, despite the fact that there is already an entire room in our home dedicated to them. 

But, while it's important to be respectful to your spouse and the home you have together, it's an entirely different beast when you're living with roommates who might otherwise be complete strangers. For one thing, you might have very little to do with each other's lives if it weren't for the fact that you lived together, and when the foundations of a relationship are built on a single transactional thing, you need to uphold your end and be a good roommate.

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  • "[Am I wrong] for asking my roommate to stop propagating more plants because the apartment no longer feels shared?"

    I live in a three-bedroom apartment with. two roommates. We just re-signed our lease for another year, partly because the market is competitive and partly because we all like the place. Over the past year, we've experienced minor tensions when it comes to cleaning standards, but nothing major.
    via Live-Light2801

  • Now we love our plants, and having a number of house plants in a home certainly helps to make things feel more grounded and relaxing. But things here are certainly reaching the point where they are untenable, and this plant-obsessed roommate needs to do some snipping and trimming and cut back on the sheer number of plants that she is propagating in the living space that these roommates share.

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    via feey

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • One ongoing issue has been how changes to the common space are handled. My belongings have been rearranged or replaced multiple times without notice, such as when a baker's table I liked was removed and replaced. with a shelf. I've tried to be flexible and not make a fuss.
    via Live-Light2801
  • But one roommate's plant collection has slowly taken over the living space. She started with about five or six plants in the living room, but now there are over twenty. Every table, shelf, and windowsill is packed. She's even hanging plants from the closet doorknobs. They're mostly propagations of the same two species, and the quantity has made it feel like there's no room left for anyone else. I can't even use the coffee table or watch TV without having to move plants.
    via Live-Light2801
  • It's also affecting how the apartment functions. She repots plants frequently, and dirt ends up on surfaces and windowsills, which she doesn't try to clean thoroughly after. One sill is so coated that my attempts at cleaning it. haven't helped, and I'm worried we'll be charged for it. She's also moved some of my plants, including one in a sentimental pot I'd previously said was important, to areas without sun. She insists we leave the blinds open at all times and says I can't open the windows be
    via Live-Light2801
  • I finally snapped and told her we needed to stop adding more plants and actually talk about how we use the shared space. She was upset and said she just wanted the apartment to feel lived-in. I said I understood that, but it doesn't feel like our apartment anymore; it feels like hers.
    via Live-Light2801
  • She responded that the space hadn't really been decorated before, and I told her I'd be happy to help make it feel more like home, but I want to do that collaboratively and blend our styles. It's not that our tastes are different; it's that I haven't been included in any of the decisions. I wasn't trying to be mean, and I get that plants bring her joy. However, I feel that there has been no real collaboration, and I'm constantly expected to adapt without any room for compromise. AITA?
    via Live-Light2801
  • Ada
    via Ceyda Çiftci

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • EDIT / INFO: My roommate already has about 20 plants in her bedroom. She has the largest room in the apartment, and it gets a lot of light because of a south-facing window. The living space also has south-facing windows, so it gets a ton of sun during the day and honestly feels like a greenhouse at midday.
    via Live-Light2801
  • My bedroom has a north-facing alley window, so there's very little natural light. That's why my sentimental plant pot is in the living space. It needs sun, and the living room is the only real option for it. • There are also plants in the kitchen. Her process involves propagating the plants on the kitchen windowsill and then moving them into the living room once they have rooted. So it's not just the living room, that's their final destination.
    via Live-Light2801
  • • We now have sticky gnat traps in nearly every plant. I know gnats are common with houseplants and I have dealt with them myself, but the sheer number doesn't help. • The baker's rack I mentioned wasn't thrown away. It's currently sitting in one of our closets, which takes up a good chunk of our storage space. • Our third roommate has stayed out of this. She mostly keeps to herself and prefers to spend time in the kitchen, which is less impacted by the plants. She hasn't really weighed in and s
    via Live-Light2801
  • • The current conversation actually started when she went on vacation for a week. She left a sticky note on her door asking me to open and close it at certain times so her plants could get proper airflow. It wasn't a huge ask, and I made sure her plants got airflow like she requested. But it made me realize just how many accommodations I've been making, and that's when I brought up that we probably need to have a broader conversation about how we use shared space.
    via Live-Light2801
  • • In terms of where things stand now, I asked her to remove or relocate some of the plants and to stop propagating or repotting in shared spaces. She said I was interfering with her hobby and what brings her joy. So we haven't resolved anything yet.
    via Live-Light2801
  • OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the ah le: The action I took was confronting my roommate about how much space her plants were taking up and asking her to stop adding more without discussing it first. I think I might be the a hole because I didn't bring it up sooner or more gently, and I can see how she might feel like I was criticizing something personal to her instead of trying to find a compromise.
    via Live-Light2801
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    via Ivana Cajina

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • thechaoticstorm NTA It's an apartment, not a greenhouse. If her hobby, which appears to be plant hoarding, is taking over common spaces, it needs to be addressed.
    via Live-Light2801
  • curiousblondwonders NTA but tell her "if you want more, keep them in your room. There doesnt need to be more than 7 plants in the shared area. If you can't honor that, then we have the right to place the plants outside where they belong because you have no common decency or respect for toommates"
    via Live-Light2801
  • JazzyCher ΝΤΑ Just for clarification, the bakers table they "removed" to replace with a shelf, did they just move it to a different area or did they throw it out? If someone threw out my furniture I'd be livid and definitely wouldn't keep living with them. If they threw your property away without even talking to you about it thats completely unacceptable.
    via Live-Light2801
  • eeo11 NTA, but as a plant person this made me laugh. She needs to stop.
    via Live-Light2801
  • ameinias She can buy a plant grow light and keep them in her room. Having them on the coffee table is bananas. Also, why does she need so many props of the same plants?! Surely she can start giving them away, curbing them, potting them together and selling them. Not every single crop needs to be propagated! Moving your plant to make room for hers especially s ks. If she respected the plants themselves she wouldn't be so selfish. Nta
    via Live-Light2801

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